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The following section was originally on this Wiki's front page during a hack by the Monarch. The Site Administrator worked tirelessly for many months in order to undo the damage done by the long-eyebrowed villain. It is now kept here for posterior[1] sake.

I have made this web site The Monarch's!

Everything is going exactly according to plan. All that was once Dr. Venture's must now become The Monarch's! Except for those kids. He can keep them, they just cramp my image. Cramps my crotch just thinking about what happened to them, too.

So now this wiki is mine! What the hell is a wiki, anyway? Sounds like one of those tiny statues with the big heads, like the one that put a curse on the Brady Bunch. I totally bet Orpheus has one of those. He's always on ebay looking for crap like that. I outbid him once just for, ya know, spite. Now I have no friggin' clue what an "Orb of Thesulah" even does.

This accomplishment will etch my name in stone, or the Internet-age equivalent, like um, a blog... or something. The Monarch will be on the tongues of every super-villain! I, uh, also wouldn't mind if The Monarch's tongue was on the tongue of one of the attractive villainesses, like maybe Fay Ray-Gun! Yeah, you heard me Dr. Girlfriend! Fay Ray-Gun totally wants me. Soak in your bed of tears!

A job of computer hackery like this surpasses anything that someone like Underbheit could even begin to comprehe... wait, that's not right.


How do you get those two little doodads that are above the U in Underbheit. No, they're not commas. . . Yes, I have seen them up close. They're not commas! No way! How does that even make any sense to you? They're like some German thing, like "wiki." Ah, forget it.

You, the visitors to this new breakthrough site, should use this wiki to make pages about all the above-average qualities that I possess. For instance, here is a page about how handsome I am. Oh look, here's one about my supreme intellect. What I will not stand for is the typing of lies and the uploading of pictures of also lies! Do not let this wiki become your death warrant.

So enjoy your stay as prisoners of the The People's Republic of The Monarch!

Um, 21, you're sure Brock Samson can't find out where I am through this thing? No, I didn't accept any cookies. Who the f*** was giving out cookies? I must've have missed that web site. Were they Thin Mints?

  1. (sic)