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Selected Quotes for The Venture Bros. Episode,

The Invisible Hand of Fate


Computer Voice
"Please do not be alarmed, we are about to engage...the nozzle. Please do not move while the nozzle is engaging, moving will disrupt calibration of...the nozzle. Please wait while we calibrate...the nozzle. Please do not look away from...the nozzle. The nozzle is now calibrating...the nozzle is still calibrating...the nozzle has completed calibration. Thank you.


Col. Gathers
There's our pink-cheeked junior G-Man.


Billy Quizboy
What was that thing?


Col. Gathers
I have no idea. Standard uh...so how do you like your new body buddies?


Billy Quizboy
Amazing! You totally fixed everything. But, um, I'm still a little confused. I mean, why me?


Brock
You fit the profile.


Col. Gathers
Deformed! Disgraced! An extra intelligent super freak shunned by an unforgiving world.


Billy Quizboy
Yeah that sounds like a profile for, like, suicide!


Brock
Or an international super villain. We've been investigating a university professor we believe is secretly a major recruiter for a global underground crime syndicate.


Col. Gathers
Drum roll, The Guild of Calamitous Intent!


Billy Quizboy
From the old Rusty Venture t.v. show?


Col. Gathers
Grrr...you see? You see?


Brock
Well that was just a dramatis...dramatisa


Col. Gathers
Dramatization.


Brock
Yeah. The real guild is still out there operating in secret. We think. And this professor is the key. Check out his cuff links.


Billy Quizboy
So you what, want me to assassinate this guy or something?


Brock
No, we want you to ace his class.


Col. Gathers
Congratulations lad! You are now a fully matriculated student of state university.


Billy Quizboy
Oh. I kinda wanted to go to M.I.T.


Col. Gathers
And I wanted to be born with big beautiful tits! Make some lemonade with this, will ya?



Shore Leave
Oh, Hunter, Wayland Flowers called; he wants his madame back. Boom!


Col. Gathers
Oh yeah? Well the Village People called, and they want you to go fucking kill yourselves, you prancing bastards!