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Selected Quotes for The Venture Bros. Episode,

Tears of a Sea Cow

While in Dr. Dugong's lair, a "menacing" robot approaches The Monarch.

The Monarch
Yes chilling. So scared of your leftover prop from a Styx video. Oh please, spare my life Mr. Roboto!



Dugong
If it isn't Dr. Mrs. The Monarch, the Pupae Twins and ... and...


Dr. Mrs. The Monarch
C'mon Monarch, what's the hold up?


The Monarch enters and first sees Dugong.

Monarch
Okay, okay. Oh man, you're all flesh colored. How much Thalidomide did your mom take?


Dugong
You may have found my inner sanctum, but you will not...


Dr. Mrs. The Monarch
Yeah, yeah. Hold that speech for a second. Don't forget it.


Dugong
I won't. W...


Dr. Mrs. The Monarch
One second! Will you just try to do this right?


Monarch
This guy's a chump. You get me in front of Dr. Venture and I'll show you how I dance.


Dr. Mrs. The Monarch
Talk about that later. Now please do it for me.


Monarch
(Extended sigh)
Okay, fine.


Dr. Mrs. The Monarch
Alright, Go ahead.


Dugong
Oh. Oh! You may have found my inner sanctum...


Dr. Mrs. The Monarch
Shut up! Now give us the key or plans or whatever the hell you have.


Dugong
I have a tank full of gentle cuttlefish.


The Monarch
Give us the cuttle..fish. Cuttle. I can't do this.


Dr. Mrs. The Monarch
Ah, you're so close sweetie. Just pretend he's Dr. Venture.


The Monarch
Give me that gun
(He takes the gun from Kevin and approaches Dugong)
You've abandoned me. You abandoned my hatred!


Dugong
I have cuttlefish.


The Monarch
Look into my eyes.


The Monarch and Dugong stare into each other's eyes for a lengthy moment. The gun goes off.


The Monarch
If you had had a lady like my wife you would be in an alternate universe where dogs talk and birds have human pets! Woooo! Oh- crap! You just reminded me; I have to go to my wife's little post-game pow-wow.


The Monarch runs out of the room.

Henchman 24
He went arching? Without us?


Henchman 21
Ow! Oh! We don't get to do anything! I'm like this close to arching the paperboy!



The Monarch
God, I can't take it any more! I gotta blow off some steam!


Henchman 24
Two words: titty bar. Just gonna throw that out there.


Henchman 21
Totally! And two more words: potato skins.


The Monarch
I've got a better idea. We return to suckle the teat of hate that once nourished us like so much butterfly-themed Romulus and Remus.


Henchman 21
So... yes to the strip club?



Dean has walked in on a naked Monarch having sex with G.U.A.R.D.O

Dean
What are you doing?


The Monarch
Um, giving your robot chlamydia?