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This is a collection of popular songs whose lyrics have been replaced with something Venture Bros related. They were created by members of the PRoV. Contains episode spoilers and good amounts of cheese.


By Nais[edit]

Venture Clan[edit]

To the tune of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel.

It's Friday night at the Nightin' Ale's
Captain Mullethead shuffles by
There's an old scientist next to him
Makin' love to his cold Rob Roy
He says, "Brock, teach me I'm a quick study
I stick the money in her rolls?
I'll say 'I'm not a hack, my Dad made Univac'
While I wear retired men's clothes"
La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da
Think up a plan, you're The Monarch, man
Pull off a scheme tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for some trickery
And Doc Girlfriend's dress sure looks tight
Now Brock at the bar is a friend of mine
His license to kill got expired
And he's quick with a knife or to knock up your wife
But he'd rather set cultists on fire
He says, "Man, I believe this is killing me."
As he crushes a beer can with much grace
"I'm not sure how I can be a body guard
If I can't smash a brick through a face"
Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da
Now Rusty's a mid-life chrysalis
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talkin' with Deany who still is a weenie
And probably will be for life
Soon Dean'll be practicing kissing his fist
But now Hank slowly drinks a gross brew
Yes, they're daring to drink a mix with spit
But at least they're not in a cocoon
Earn your license, you're the Brock man
Go do another rep
Well, for the written you drew Icarus
That guy's saying he don't like Zep?
It's an average day for the Venture clan
And the Monarch burns with envious rage
'Cause he thinks that Rusty has been boning Doc G
Which ain't covered on a Guild's Handbook page
And Brock Samson he pounds on the bartender
And Rusty's man form has returned
And he sits on the floor and he's naked and sore
And the boys holler "Go Team Venture"
Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da
Sing us a song we're the Venture fans
Sing us a song tonight
We're all in the mood for some comedy
And VB's got us feeling alright.

Henchmen[edit]

To the tune of "Heroes" by David Bowie

I, I chose Anne Frank
And you, you picked Lizzie
Lightsaber'd Brock, then ran Away
We got so gipped, on Tag Sale Day
We're glad to be Henchmen, just for those days
And you, you wrote that book
With lies, pics of also lies
Drove a wedge 'tween Monarch and Girlfriend
They were lovers, is this the End?
The Monarch, he wound up in prison
We could spring him, maybe someday
You should be Henchmen, don't know what you're missin'
What do you say?
I, I Wish we could fly
Like the monarchs, from Brock we could fly
One giant ninja, made from two taped together
We could just fly, for ever and ever
Oh glad to be Henchmen, just for those days
We, we've lost some friends
But you, you we kidnapped
Sixty-nine charger made some frappe
Still glad to be Henchmen, despite those days
We have survived, least for today
I, I can remember (I remember)
Shooting, at Samson (in Mexico)
And Speedy, was locked in his grip (his tight ass grip)
And when Dean, twisted his testicles (tangled his balls)
And the Smurfs, Smurfette had to lay eggs
She'd be in estrus, for ever and ever
We're glad to be Henchmen, just for those days
Glad to be Henchmen
We're awesome Henchmen
We'll break out Monarch
One of these days
We're the best Henchmen
We're driving, and no one will help us
Ammo we're seeking, let's go ask those teens
Hair shoulda been shorter
Shot Hank and Dean
Oh-Oh-Oh-Ohh, Oh-Oh-Oh-Ohh

Leslie[edit]

Sung to the tune of "Layla" by Eric Clapton. Should be sung in a Mike Sorayama voice.

Got my brilliant plan to get even
With those I called college chums.
I may have died but still I will survive
So I can get those science bums.
Leslie, I made fembots of you.
Leslie, I’m begging, love me true.
Leslie, say you'll ease that order to restrain
Pete said I enjoyed masturbation
to your picture, that made me frown.
Like a fool, I did Chem work for you,
Turned my GPA upside down.
Leslie, I smoked oregano
Leslie, it swelled up my face so
Leslie, you're not the same as Coco from Fame.
Rusty made the best of the D&D game
Rolled a Leslie-Golem Seduction
But it was Brock, who pulled off the cock block
His drunken rage made us run
Leslie, you chose Brock over me?
Leslie, he killed that mute Tommy
Leslie, darling be my Heavy Metal babe
Leslie, I died and still love you
Leslie, come see my vengeful coup
Leslie, darling won't you love my robot mind

You Guys are Nazis[edit]

'To the tune of Lady Gaga's Paparazzi

On the compound, Orpheus is out
Got his flash melting heads, need that fuhrer dog dead
He's so magical,
HELPeR's even more mechanical
Flowers and camo, hiding Hatred's heat,
Not sure what he craves, but he likes tiny feet
Comic drops in price, Hank hit every light,
But do you know that Dean...
Dean's the biggest fan “I love Hitler and Hitler loves me”,
Adolf's now a doggie
Rusty, unethical scientist that we're so grateful for
“Wait, you guys are Nazis”
Promised clone in time, but will they please quit the fake accent, “Nein!"
That baby'll be famous, hate reincarnated, lovely,
“Wait, you guys are Nazis”
Brock hiding out, backwoods with Sasquatch,
Track suits for softy, and some art therapy
Hunter: no regrets, just eyeliner and cigarettes
Molotov's set up, SPHINX lurk in the ducts,
Hey turn on the lights, boyo you don't know dick
Brock's wheel spins quick, Hunter's still got his disco stick
But you know that Hatred is...
Wrecking 21's book 'cause he's using it unsanitarily.
The diving CGC!
Baby there're few other Marvel 1s of that quality, and
Yes LARPing is for me!
A fee for Rusty, half-a-mil to clone Gary's friend that died
And don't forget HELPeR's now in Brocks' chest cavity,
Beep-boop beep-boop boop-beep
Oh no, 24 back from the dead?
Snapped, snapped 21 talking to his head?
Don't stop, for anyone,
We're mixed-up but we still have fun!
We're the biggest fans we'll watch until it drives us crazy,
We'll go, we'll go nutsy,
This backwards episode put some further down that road, it went
Topsy Topsy-Turvy
Promise we'll rewind, but you can't stop at least 'til season five,
Woah, Astrobase making us wait now 'til sometime next spring?
Wait, you guys are Nazis...

By Ub_Iwerks_Hot[edit]

Venture Compound[edit]

To the tune of Billy Joel's "Allentown"

Well we're living in the Venture Compound
With our dad and Brock and H.E.L.P.eR. around
We solve mysteries and we have fun
Flying around
In the X-1
Our exciting life just totally rocks
Our dad tutors us at home in a box
And our mother has been MIA
When we ask dad
He doesn't say
And we're living here in the Compound
But the Monarch tries to put us down
Although why it's very hard to say
Well we're waiting in the Venture Compound
For the the big success that dad never found
Back in college though he did just fine
Big science prize
'79
And his graduations hang on the wall
But they never really helped him at all
No he never had his father's fun
Success and acclaim
Gargantua One
And we're waiting here in the Compound
We had a tag sale once right here on the grounds
Peter White was there, he's kind of fey
Every child has a pretty good shot
To get at least as far as their old man got
But something happened to our dad on the way
And sometimes nobody gets the shrink ray
Well we're living in the Venture Compound
Dr. Orpheus is hanging around
He had Taco Bell for lunch today
Dr. Girlfriend only talks that way
And we're living in the Venture Compound.

PRoV Ballad[edit]

More or less to the tune of Eminem's "Drug Ballad" from The Marshall Mathers LP)

Ai yo, this is my love song, and it goes like this...
Back when Dr. Venture was little Rusty
This is how we'd try to make the party lusty:
We used to mix Ratt with Brew McCrew
Throw in avfanatic and Tiny Joseph too
And by the sixth post you’re just a postin' whore
And you’ll be ranked up and you’ll start postin' more
And my prediction is you’ll probably get bored
either somewhere in the White Room or the Fluttering Hordes
But everything’s spinning
You think of Phantom Limb 'n'
you're swimmin' in pink linen from Dr. Girlfriend's suit
Then in a couple of minutes Ub_Iwerks has OD'd
You are now allowed to officially mock Coheed
You have the right to engage Sylak and that newbie xador
Nais is arching Janissary when he agreed with him before
Get off topic, on tangents, and start drivin’
over the boards and cause a 42 post pile-up.
’Cause every time I go to try to leave
Something keeps pullin’ on my sleeve
I don’t wanna, but I gotta stay
That PRoV's really got a hold of me
’cause every time I try to tell them no
They won’t let me ever let them go
I’m a sucka all I gotta say
That PRoV's really got a hold of me.
At ASMB, all they used to do
Was act rude and crude and mock the noobs
But here at the PRoV every chick and dude
Brings the love to the table like it's goddamned food
We’ve got no game
And we're all the same
Make up a name
'Cause we don’t need to boast to post
We just say whatever we want to whoever we want
Whenever we want, wherever we want, however we want
Showing each other respect, it's true
If Led posts drunk, what can you do
Getting sentimental spillin’ his guts to a few
And no one cares if Phantom Spaceman is gay for Brew
So you’re posting too
You can't stop, it's true
At 2 in the morning, what else is there to do?
ProfJammybottoms has stuff to do
She's got two jobs and a family but she's stuck here too
But in the long run
These boards are probably going to catch up sooner or later
But fuck it, I’m on now
So let’s enjoy
Let the PRoV destroy your spinal cord
So it’s not a straight line no more
Bent over your computer like a hunchback creep
Bags under your eyes 'cause you ain't go no sleep
I've got carpal tunnel syndrome and my fingers are raw
Which only means
I’m going to try to post some more.
’Cause every time I go to try to leave
Something keeps pullin’ on my sleeve
I don’t wanna, but I gotta stay
That PRoV's really got a hold of me
’cause every time I try to tell them no
They won’t let me ever let them go
I’m a sucka all I gotta say
That PRoV's really got a hold of me.

Tangled Up in Brock[edit]

song to the tune of Tangled up in Blue by Bob Dylan

Early one mornin' the sun was shinin',
I was layin' in bed
Wondering if I'd changed at all
If my goatee was still red.
Sometimes I think my life at the Compound
Sure can be kinda rough
It's never too easy raising two kids
when your bank book isn't big enough
So I was flying in the X-1
'Cause I had a job to do
Heading somewhere with Hank and Dean
Lord knows where I found those two, under a rock
Tangled up in Brock.
She was undercover when we first met
Working for the Monarch of course
I brought her back to my room, I guess,
But she used a little too much force.
She injected me with some kind of serum
Abandoned me in the night
When I woke up the following day
I was in for an awful fright.
The boys came in to look at me
I'd turned into an insect freak
I heard Dr. Girlfriend's voice in my head,
Saying "Sorry for my cheek, had to do it, Doc,"
Tangled up in Brock.
I had a job at the great U.N.
Showin' them my new Ooo-Ray
But this crazy fetishist whacked off on it
So I felt I had to get away.
So I drifted down to Spider-Skull Island
Where I had a cabin with a view
Workin' for a while on a fishin' boat
(but we'll save that for Season Two.)
Yet all the while I was alone
The past was close behind,
I had a lot of father issues
And he never escaped my mind, as I sat on the dock
Tangled up in Brock.
With Brock that time in the topless place
The bartender made fun of his hair,
I just kept lookin' at his angry face
I could see his eye twitchin' there.
And later on as the crowd thinned out
I was just about to do the same,
Brock was standing there at back of my chair
Looking angry and ashamed
He muttered something underneath his breath,
And I adjusted my wig
I must admit I felt a little uneasy
Since he's just so super-big, it's always a shock
Tangled up in Brock.
So now I'm goin' back again,
Back to the Venture Compound
And all the people I used to know
It seems that they're still around.
Some are necromancers
Some are butterfly's wives
Don't know how it all got started,
I don't know what they're doing with their lives.
But me, I'm flying the old X-1
On another crazy chase
Going on another adventure,
To another exotic place, hard to knock
Tangled up in Brock.

The People's Republic of Venture[edit]

To the tune of "Hotel California" by the Eagles (as suggested by Tiny Joseph)

On the Information Superhighway
Cool sites everywhere
But the Adult Swim Message Boards
Made me want to despair
Then at the bottom of one post
I saw a hypertext link
I clicked on it, a site came up
Just as quick as a wink
So I looked at the front page
Fine from what I could tell
And I was thinking to myself
This could be Heaven or this could be Hell
So I joined as a member
And they showed me the way
There were voices in the forums
I thought I heard them say
Welcome to the People's Republic of Venture
Such a lovely place
(Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely space
Plenty of room at the People's Republic of Venture
Any time of year
(Any time of year)
You can find it here
They channel dead crazy people
They've got the fluttering hordes
They've got a lot of pretty pretty users
They call Post Whores
They'll do sixty posts daily
Without breaking a sweat
Some post to remember
Some post to forget
I said "Heart Break Enigma,
Please bring me a Mai Tai"
And he said
"We haven't had that spirit here since Fox cancelled Family Guy"
And still those voices are calling from far away
Make you post in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say
Welcome to the People's Republic of Venture
Such a lovely place
(Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely space
They're livin' it up at the People's Republic of Venture
Such a happy pup
(Such a happy pup)
When you're ranking up
Though Phantom Limb's a cruel one,
Proffy's always nice
And she said
"We are all just prisoners here
Of our own device."
And inside the PRoV Complex
They gathered to make noise
They shot them dead in Season One
But they just can't kill the boys
Last thing I remember
I was trying to log out
I had to work in the morning and besides I had my doubts
Relax said Tiny Joseph
We are programmed to receive
You can log out any time you like
But you can never leave.

By DRD2001[edit]

The Monarch's Cocoon[edit]

To the tune of YMCA by the Village People

Henchman there's no need to feel down
I said henchman pick yourself off the ground
I said henchman 'cause your in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy
Henchman there's a place you can go
I said henchman when you're short on your dough
You can stay there and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.
It's fun to stay at the Monarch's Cocoon
Although you'll find that you have to share a room
They have everything for henchmen to enjoy.
You can hang out with all the boys.
It's fun to stay at the Monarch's Cocoon
It's fun to stay at the Monarch's Cocoon
You can get yourself clean
Get yourself off the crack
See the fluttering horde's attack
Henchman, Are you listening to me
I said, henchman, what do you want to be
Would you like to, clean the Monarchmobile,
Or find a time machine to steal
Monarch, does it all by himself
When Dr. Girlfriend, put his pride on the shelf
Now in prison, he is locked far away
But revenge will come soon one day
It's fun to stay at the Monarch's Cocoon
It's fun to stay at the Monarch's Cocoon
Just beware of Brock beating up on your ass
And King Gorilla passing gas
It's fun to stay at the Monarch's Cocoon
It's fun to stay at the Monarch's Cocoon
You can get yourself killed
Fighting in the good fight
And then sleep alone every night
Henchman, I was once in your shoes,
I said, I was down and out with the blues
If you meet Brock, you won't get out alive
And the dental plan is so jive
But I, don't have a GED
So the Monarch is a savior to me
He will help you, to earn your own wings
But beware of the Monarch's sting
It's fun to stay at the Monarch's Cocoon
It's fun to stay at the Monarch's Cocoon
They have everything For young men to enjoy.
You can hang out with all the boys.
Monarch's Cocoon
It's fun to stay at the Monarch's Cocoon
It's fun to stay at the Monarch's Cocoon
Henchman, Young man, there's no need to feel down
Henchman, Young man, pick yourself off the ground
Monarch's Cocoon
Monarch's Cocoon
Monarch's Cocoon

By Bea Rose13[edit]

Hours on the Blog[edit]

To the tune of Flowers on the Wall by The Statler Brothers

NB: Sung by 24 to Dr. Mrs. the Monarch

I keep hearin' you're concerned about my happiness
But all that talk you’re givin’ M is conscience I guess
If I was walkin’ in your shoes, I wouldn’t steal the one
While you ‘n’ your moppets are being creepy I’m havin’ lots of fun
Podcastin’ hours on the blog
That don't bother me at all
Discussin’ women 'till dawn with a broken 21
Watchin’ Pussycats and slo-moing Rosario
Now don’t tell me I’ve died off the show
Last night I dressed in wings, pretended raiding the Compound
As long as I can arch it’s hard to slow this henchman down
So please don't give a thought to me, I'm really doin' fine
You can always find me here, I'm havin' quite a time
Podcastin’ hours on the blog
That don't bother me at all
Discussin’ women 'till dawn with a broken 21
Watchin’ Pussycats and slo-moing Rosario
Now don’t tell me I’ve died off the show
It’s good to see you, on the show, I know I look a fright
Anyway I take the blame for 21’s poor plight
And his room is starting to smell like a garbage dump
But you should go it’s almost time for an adult swim bump
Podcastin’ hours on the blog
That don't bother me at all
Discussin’ women 'till dawn with a broken 21
Watchin’ Pussycats and slo-moing Rosario
Now don’t tell me I’ve died off the show
Don't tell me I've died off the show