From The Venture Bros. Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Selected Quotes for The Venture Bros. Episode,

Return to Spider-Skull Island


Have you destroyed the giant cocoon headquarters?


Not yet.


The Monarch
You've sent the charred remains of Wonder Boy to his beloved Captain Sunshine?


Henchman 21
Yes.


The Monarch
Rewound and returned the director's cut of Working Girl?


We tried, but...


The Monarch
Unleashed the herpes smeared sexpots upon the traitorous members of the guild?


Henchman 21
Yeah.


The Monarch
Filled Phantom's Limb's garage with clingy static-charged styrofoam packing peanuts?


Henchman 24
No.


The Monarch
Sent apology letters to each of my sponsored Ugandan foster children?


Henchman 21
Check.


The Monarch
Have you.... killed the Venture brothers?!'



( Dr. Orpheus makes an entrance as dramatic music plays)
Dr. Orpheus
Whooooo wants Pizza Roooolls!



Dr. Orpheus
There is a television behind the El Greco. Sadly the remote has vanished from the material sphere, so it's stuck on Animal Planet.



...I'm outta here. I'm not going to play second banana fiddle to some stupid ol' baby.


Well not me, I'm staying right here. I'll be sleeping in a room right next to Triana and then she'll hear, like, thunder or something and she'll run into my room all scared and stuff. and I'll like 'Hush my darling, it's just ionized air molecules expanding" and she'll be like "Oh, hold me" and I'll like...


Hank
Dude! If we stay here that means that we'll be Dr. Orpheus' kids and that means that Triana will be your sister. And that means you two'll have extra retard babies.



The Monarch
You think you're hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a dixie cup!



(Kid #1 laughs)

The Monarch
Oh that's funny to you, right? Cause you're so f#ckin' bad? I know your type. You think I'll just get a costume, rip off the neighborhood kids. Next thing you know, you've got a jet shaped like a skull with lasers on the front!


Kid #2
(snickering)
This is totally gay!


The Monarch
What!? You think this is gay, huh? Is that what you f#ckin' said you scrawny piece of sh!t?! Oh, this isn't gay, but King Gorilla over there is!


(King Gorilla makes kissing noises)

The Monarch
And I bet he can't wait to snap off a piece of your d*ck in his a$$!"




The Monarch
You - get up! I SAID GET THE F*CK UP! What's your name?


Dean
Dean Ven...


The Monarch
YOUR NAME IS BITCH! And I own you. YOU'RE PROPERTY! And when I'm tired of having sex with every hole God drilled in your slender frame - King Gorilla, you got a cigarette? There, I just sold you for a cigarette, and I don't smoke! *pause* Holy shit, you're Dean fucking Venture! King, I gotta buy my bitch back, here's your cigarette.


F*ck you, gimme a dollar!



The Monarch
What are you boys doing in the penhouse?


Dean
Well, our dad had a baby, so we ran away.


Hank
And then we got arrested for not speeding enough.


The Monarch
You shouldn't even be alive!


Dean
Huh?


The Monarch
I put out a hit on you...super sorry. But, you know, I'm in mother f*cking prison here. My life is sh*t.



The Monarch
You boys don't wanna end up in here, this place is full of f*cking animals.


Hank opens his mouth to speak

The Monarch
I don't mean King Gorilla, Hank. I mean this place will chew you up and spit you out.


Hank opens his mouth again.

The Monarch
No, I'm not talking about Mecha-Mouth, Hank.


Dean
(sighs)
This was a big mistake.


The Monarch
F*ckin' a, right! This is all wrong, you boys are the f*cking Venture brothers. You've had your little adventure, now go the hell home.


Hank
F*ck that shit!


Dean
Hank Venture! What is wrong with you!? You're changing into an extra-bad person! Do you even know how many baby angels you just killed by saying that?!


Hank
Oh by glory! You're right! What's happening to us. We searched for freedom, and it landed us in jail.


Dean
I bet dad's worried sick. And Brock. He loves ya, Hank, I just know it.


The Monarch
Oh this is just gay. Look, I gotta get back to yelling at regular kids, alright?



Dr. Orpheus]]
Consider this your final warning. You do not know the risk you are taking. For a whisper from my lips can open your mind to a world of arcane tortures!


Redneck
Ffffaggot.



King Gorilla
Gimmie your wallet.


Kid
Huh?


King Gorilla
I said gimme ya flipin' wallet!


Kid hands over the wallet.

King Gorilla
There now I got ya wallet, still wanna be a supa villain?!?!?!


Kid
Well I do now. You have my wallet.



What else do you want? Do you want Dean? You could have Dean. He could carry you around on his back, like Master Blaster.