Selected Quotes for The Venture Bros. Episode,
[Brock injects Rusty with a syringe]
Dr. Venture: No Brock. This is Sky, we're going to have a child. Please.... [Passes Out]
Jonas Jr.: Nevermind. Just let me get my stuff from the lab and I'll go.
Thaddeus: The lab? Try my lab.
Jonas Jr.: Mine, yours, what's the difference? We're the Venture brothers. What's mine is yours.
Thaddeus: Yeah, yeah. You're very generous with my things. Look Twiki, I have some biddity-biddity-big government contracts I gotta get craking on. I'm biddity-biddity-back in action and there are biddity-biddity-bills to pay.
Jonas Jr.: Super. I could use your help. I've got most of them complete. I think there are two left. Yeah. A sound-that-kills and a teleporter, heh, dibs on the killing sound.
Thaddeus: Dibs? Screw you. Those are my contracts.
Jonas Jr.: They were addressed to Dr. Venture and since you've been gone I've received two doctorates. So, I'm a Dr. Venture too.
Thaddeus: I was only gone a month.
Dr. Orpheus: Now I don't want to worry you with particulars but I am by trade a necromancer. You know what that means?
Brock Samson: Uh, that you have sex with dead people?
Oprheus: Phile. Necrophile. A necromancer can bring the dead to life!
Young Rusty [to Dad]: Wow, that little brown boy saved your life.
Young Hector: This aztec calendar says today is your lucky day.
Young Rusty: Can we keep him pop?
Swifty: I used to be pretty, but not no more. Look at my nose
[The Monarch wakes up on a bed, confused. He's rocking back and forth and hears a zipper unzip]
The Monarch: Ah. Hey. Hey, what the f...? Are you raping me?!
King Gorilla: No.
The Monarch: Oh, go..
King Gorilla: I was gonna.
The Monarch: Gonna? What the fuck, King?
King Gorilla: I couldn't get it up.
The Monarch [While King Gorilla is talking]: Ahhh! Lalalalalalalalala
King Gorilla: You're built too much like a girl. I couldn't get into it.
The Monarch: Wait. Wait a... What? This isn't even my cell! What'd ya take me to your place?
King Gorilla: Well, I got porn here. It helps.
The Monarch [leaving the cell]: Ahhh! Lalalalalalalala
Brock Samson [walking into the living room] - I told you you can't run the microwave and the blowdryer at the same time. They're on the same circuit. (Spies Venture's legs sticking out of the tv) What the hell are you doing? How did ya even do that? (Brock tugs on legs.)
Dr. Venture [his voice from another location] - Ow! Don't do that!
Brock Samson - Doc?
Dr. Venture - Lab.
Dr. Venture [as Brock walks into the lab where Ventures head and left arm and side are sticking out of the wall] - My f'ing brother is an idiot.
Brock Samson - Should I ask?
Dr. Venture - Teleporter. This is all I need.
Brock Samson - Your legs are sticking out of the tv. Where's the rest of ya?
Dr. Venture I can't tell. Hold on. (pause) Did you hear that? I just threw something.
Brock Samson - Wait. Do it again. (pause) No.
Dr. Venture - Okay, just a sec. I'll... oh! I just put my hand in sludge. Oh don't tell me... I think the rest of me is in the bathroom.
Henchman 24: Here's a tip. A beard is no substitute for a jawline, no matter how you trim it.
Dr. Venture - Stop it! They are Hank and Dean. They have all the same memories. Same annoying tendencies. Same everything. Look, if you have a clumsy child, you make them wear a helmet. If you have death prone children, you keep a few clones of them in your lab.
Brock Samson - Ugh. I hate touching them. They feel like giant Stretch Armstrongs.
Dr. Orpheus: Saw them? I made them a ***king milkshake.
Dr. Orpheus: But Hank, no, Hank is quite upset. Rage, I can hear his rage. He calls you a crumb bum. Or maybe a crampon. It’s hard to hear him.
Brock: Isn’t a crampon a little hook for mountain climbing?
Dr. Venture: He’s definitely calling me a crumb bum.
Dr. Orpheus : Your sons' souls are near!
Dr. Venture : OK, Orpheus, why don't you go home and take a shower or something? You're starting to hallucinate.
Dr. Orpheus : No shower for Byron Orpheus!!