From The Venture Bros. Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Selected Quotes for The Venture Bros. Episode,

Pinstripes & Poltergeists


21
So do you get to talk to Rasputin and James Doohan?


24
Yeah, totally. But you don't really have a body.


21
So you can never have sex again?


24
Like we were getting laid all the time. Yeah, but with no sex comes no rejection, and you don't miss sex cause you're, like, omniscient. Seriously, ask me any question.


21
OK. What's the meaning of life?


24
The color twelve.


21
Really?


24
No, idiot! Ask me something less "Hitchhiker's Guide". Dork.


21
Do we have souls?


24
Yeah. They're not quite souls, but that's the general idea. Everything has a soul.


21
Crap! I guess I should become a vegetarian?


24
No, like everything living has a soul. Even spinach. You can't win.


21
So that's...a problem


24
Here's something, you know how people cry about aborting babies because of their "soul"? It turns out you don't get a soul until you're like one.


21
So weird...one? Really?


24
Or like maybe six months, I forget it. Either way you're just this little crying, pooing, monster blob 'til you get your soul.


21
That's amazing. I should tell everybody, people need to know about this!


24
Oh, definitely! Maybe you should write it all down on a golden plate. Or maybe get some aviators and a compound in Guyana.


21
Yeah, I get it. Dude, I barely believe you're real. I mean, if there were ghosts they'd be freakin' everywhere.


24
Eh, not necessarily. You can only haunt something you were close to...in life.


21
And you chose me? Out of everything you chose me?


24
Eh, before you get all teary eyed I could only chose between you and a cocoon that is constantly getting blown up.


21
Still...you could have...


24
Or Beth Seedin. Yeah but she's not fifteen anymore so she doesn't like me, 'in that way'.



Dr. Venture
Um, I know I'm not really up on all this confusing crap, but isn't S.P.H.I.N.X. the bad guys?


Col. Gathers
They were, but we annihilated the real S.P.H.I.N.X. in the Pyramid Wars of '87


Shore Leave
So when we went rouge we just went, "Hey, why don't we use these fresh costumes and all this sweet Egypt themed equipment we captured?"


Billy Quizboy
Wait, you guys aren't with the O.S.I. anymore?


Col. Gathers
Hell no son! We all joined the O.S.I. with high eyed dreams saving the world from baddies, and what did we get? Hot bureaucracy poured in our laps!


Shore Leave
As S.P.H.I.N.X. we can whip up foamy justice anyway we want.


Mile High
The O.S.I. plays their game of tag with the Guild. But when someone refuses the costumed life...S.P.H.I.N.X.!


Billy Quizboy
Can we join?


Pete White
Eh, speak for yourself Billy.


Col. Gathers
Eh, don't kid yourself Short Round. You two are gonna wake up tomorrow with your memory wiped. How's that metal high-five treating you these days, huh?


Billy Quizboy
With all due respect, I hate you...


Col. Gathers
I know! And tomorrow you will love me!


Dr. Venture
You know, this is the answer to my problems! You guys just to need to pay some back rent and sign some papers!


Shore Leave
Wrong-o! S.P.H.I.N.X. works in the shadows. We are ghosts.


Brock
I couldn't tell anyone about this. Doc, seriously it's important work. That's why we're all here.


Dr. Venture
You're here because you forgot to leave me your keys.


Brock
I mean why we're here on this planet. We all had to make sacrifices.


Dr. Venture
You mean like cover yourselves in rotten eggs? You know how bad you smell?


Brock
No ass! Like living next to the boys for a year and not being able to tell them they were safe. That kind of sacrifice!


Col. Gathers
I had my pud removed. Then reattached!


Shore Leave
I pretended I became a religious fanatic.


Mile High
I pretended to be in love with Shore Leave.


Shore Leave
Oh, and I pretended I liked having sex with him every night!


Dr. Venture
Ah, intruder at the front gate.


S.P.H.I.N.X.
INTRUDER AT THE FRONT GATE! THE SPHINX HAS SPOKEN!


Col. Gathers
How much you want for that watch of yours? Ours is way too creepy.