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Selected Quotes for The Venture Bros. Episode,

Now Museum - Now You Don't!

Brainulo, your deformity has...


It's not a deformity!


Oh, yeah. Your heart wrenching addiction to plastic surgery...


I was born like this, 1000 years from now!


Right, Okay.

Screw your brotherhood Scaramantula. I came here in a robot! The only reason I've deigned to ally my superior mind with this syndicate of small brains is to exact revenge upon Dr. Venture for stranding me here in 19-Shitty-Nine


We'll get to that. But first we must give a warm Fraternity of Torment welcome to our newest member, Dr. Fandragon No doubt your supernumerary nipple made you a pariah in your childhood village of Japaninowa.

Dr. Fandragon
(an obvious Dr. Jonas Venture doing a bad acting job)
Yes. That's why I'm all evil now. And I hate Dr. Venture.

As do we all my thoroughly Japanese friend who is easily, easily, six foot two.

Action Man flies into the room on Spider-Skull Island on a hover bike, firing his guns indiscriminately into henchmen.

Action Man

Action! Action! Action! Action!

(diving into the air, landing on a henchman's head and firing)

Action! Action! Action!

Col. Gentleman
Woah, whoa, whoa Rodney! What are you doing?

Action Man
What? I'm winning the day.

Well take it down a notch. I mean Ook-Ook is a mindless savage and even he knows when to pull his punches.

Ook Ook
(hitting a henchman over the head with a bone)

Ook! Ook!

(out of breath)

My Chest hurts! My tongue is too big for my mouth!

Jonas Venture

Take five, Humongoloid. You've fought bravely.

You're late and I told you it was black tie.

This is.

Jonas Venture Jr.

That means formal evening dress. Not a Scooby Doo purple suit with a clip-on that happens to be black

Rusty Venture

Dean thought I looked nice.

Jonas Jr.

Practically everyone Dad ever worked with is here.


Great. I'm gonna have to talk to the Harlem Globetrotters again?


I bet you wondered how I managed to escape all those times or how I kept my trim figure? Now all my secrets are revealed, ah?

Geez, you'd think he could have built an elevator in here. An escalator. A ramp. Anything!

He once built a machine, it spun steel like spider's silk. Beautiful in the sunlight, the silvery web.


Ho, two at a time! Like it was yesterday. Come on, Team Venture, winded so soon?

Action Man
I'm gonna kill him, I swear.
I got plastic knees you son of a bitch!

Professor Impossible drunkenly lands the supercar in the hangar.

Jonas Jr.

Richard! You... made it

Prof. Impossible

H-hello again

(with resentment)



Yay! Super-car! Go car!

Prof. Impossible

I won't let you keep her, little man

Jonas Jr.


Prof. Impossible



Fellas, thank God. Listen, do any of you need a roommate?

Action Man

S'matter? Ain't there enough room for you at the Venture Compound?

(sarcastic laughter)

The compound's fine, but those kids they keep trying to flush me down the fucking toilet! They think I'm the Ty-D-Bowl man!

Action Man

Yeah, they're not exactly the brightest bulbs on the ol' Menorah.