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Selected Quotes for The Venture Bros. Episode,

Mid-Life Chrysalis


Dr. Venture: Ok, so we're going to- No! No! Bad robot!
H.E.L.P.eR. starts eating test tubes
Dr. Venture: No! We don't eat test-tubes! What, now you don't feel well do you?
H.E.L.P.eR. holds his stomach and shakes his head, moaning. A hole burns through his stomach
Dr. Venture: Well that's what happens when you mix acids and bases.
H.E.L.P.eR. runs off crying

Hank: You're nothing. You're weak. Why do you even want to be a secret agent, boy? You think you're good enough?
Brock: Hank. Seriously, when I get my license back I'm allowed to kill you.
Hank: Oh, sorry Brock.

Rusty: Crap who am I kidding? My looks are going down the tubes faster than an unwanted pregnancy on prom night.


Rusty: Hey, gloomy Gus, hop in. I got a top secret mission for you buddy.

Brock: I can't. I'm not a secret agent anymore.

Rusty: [chuckles] You don't need a license for operation "Get Me Some."


Rusty: Oh, Brock check out the main stage. But don't make it obvious. She's looking at me, what do I do?

Brock: Give her like 5 bucks

[Rusty rifles through change purse and hands the dancer a $20]

Rusty: Can you break this?


Rusty: One of them was dressed like a cheerleader and said she was 19 but she had a Cesarean scar and her face had more lines on it than a mirror at Studio 54.


Rusty: [to Undercover Dr. Girlfriend] So I didn't catch your name.

The Monarch: [talking to Dr. Girlfriend through earpiece] Oh crap, we never planned for this contingency. Quick, make something up!


Rusty: Brock, I'm all out of condom. Could you pick me up one if you go out?


H.E.L.P.eR. picks up Venture's shedded skin.

Hank: Wow, I bet if you put that under your pillow the tooth-fairy would give you like a grand.


Dr. Venture: Heh, condoms. Rusty doesn't need gadgets to please a woman.


Dr. Venture: What you are about to see is a nightmare, inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka.

Dr. Venture emerges from sheets as a catepiller.

Hank: Holy crap! What happened?

Dr. Venture: Apparently this is the reward I get for years of screwing with super-science. In short, I pissed in God's eye, and he blinked.


Dean: No worries, Brock, I'll walk you thorough the written portion. Question 1: You're in Prague. A sniper's in the window above you. There's an alligator behind you, and a grizzly bear in front of you. What do you do? Do you...
Brock: Back somersault, pry off the alligator's jaw, use it as a boomerang to take out the sniper. When he falls out the window, the grizzly'll go straight for the easier meal.
Dean: Ummmm, the answer is 'c'.