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Selected Quotes for The Venture Bros. Episode,

Hate Floats


Phantom Limb - No, don't get up. You've been shot. Sadly, it wasn't fatal. I've removed the bullet and three others, a blowgun dart, two sharks teeth, the tip of a bayonet, a twisted paper clip and a meager handful of buckshot. You may want to learn to duck.

Brock Samson - In a couple of minutes, I'm gonna get up and pound your smug face into the armrest.


Dean Venture - I look like Santa's magic janitor.


The Monarch - Guess where I am now?

Number 21 - At a good friend's house?

The Monarch - I am sitting in the charred remains of my once mighty flying cocoon. Anyone want to 'splain to me why my cocoon is charred?

Number 24 - Because you told us to destroy the cocoon.

The Monarch - And why it is on it's side?

Number 21 - We were following orders. You can't yell at us for following orders.

Number 24 - Or kill us for following orders.


Hank: I'm driving! I'm a driver!


Number 24: We're gonna get our asses kicked. We didn't have a breakfast.


Number 21: Are you the bully of your school? Or even the victim of bullying? Do you watch movies about costume heroes and think wow that guy's a pussy, I hope a much cooler bad guy kicks his butt.

Number 24: Wow, its like you were reading my mind.

Number 21: I am not a mind reader, stranger. You, like so many others, are drawn to this sexy action-packed life style of the professional henchman.

Number 24: But I could never be a henchman. I am just a normal guy who is between the age of 18-30.... a loner.... and lacks ties to friends and family.

Number 21: You stranger.......are the perfect candidate for costumed aggression.

Thug: Yo, fat boy. We getta carry a piece?

Number 21: But of course, your standard grade one henchmen in service of the mighty Monarch is issued a dart gun, and a grappling cannon, to name only a few of the exciting accoutrements that will aid the henchmen in his wonderful world of career henchmen.

Thug 2: Yo, what kinda ride we get?

Number 21: How does an enormous flying cocoon sound to you?


Number 21: Yeah, yeah. Keep laughing while I totally emancipate you. Gentlemen, choose your weapons.

Number 24: Is this them?

Number 21: "Are these they?"

Number 24: Who talks like that?

The Monarch: Out of the way! I m the leader here! I will distribute the... wehhh... Are these they?

Number 24: Yeah. And you have to admit it is a pretty formidable collection.

The Monarch: You f#@$ing idiot! What the hell are we supposed to do with this crap? Make them laugh so hard they blow malt liquer out of their noses?

Rusty: No, I think you'll have that covered when you storm the rooms in butterfly costumes.

The Monarch: Nice onsie, dick. Does it have snaps in the back, so you can make poopsies?



Phantom Limb: Let's go.

Brock: I thought for sure you were going to hit me with lock and load.

Phantom Limb: The night is still young!