Selected Quotes for The Venture Bros. Episode,
Dean: I'll get the flashlights!
Hank: I'll get the astronaut ice cream!
Brock: You got it V-stein, that's the game plan.
Brock: No, man, no. They're not going to give it up for a shoe you made out of a dog.
[Venturestein sighs and looks down, dejected]
Brock: Hey forget it V, it's my treat.
Venturestein: Brock Gooooood!
Hank: Where the heck did they put African-America, anyway?
Dean: I don’t know, Hank, but it’s not on any of our charts. I know – to the learning beds!
Dr. Venture: Brock, I need dead people. Lots and lots of dead people.
Dr. Venture: I already got 12 from the henchmen you killed, not counting the black guy with half a head, but we need like, uh, 100 something. We need like a full gross of dead people.
Brock: Right, and, uh...where are we gonna get all these dead people?
Dr. Venture: Well, I thought, seeing how you are...you know, you and all, maybe...you could go out and--
Dr. Venture: --make some...
Dr. Venture: ...dead people.
Dr. Venture: Well, fine. Thanks a lot for not helping.
Brock: Anything else?
Dr. Venture: HELP ME GET DEAD PEOPLE!
Patty: Ted, you said I could see my parents.
Ted: This was on the way, Patty.
Patty: We've been driving to my parents' house for ten years. You promised.
Ted: Patty...being out of your box isn't a right, it's a privilege! Baby, you don't want to go back in your box, do you?
Ted: If God didn't want us to solve this mystery, he wouldn't have had us run out of gas here!
Patty: But what's the mystery?
Sonny: Hey, you know, we're not outta gas, man! We got a five-gallon can in the back of the -
(Ted smacks Sonny with flashlight)
Ted: Why do you hate God so much?
Sonny: I don't hate God, man...
Ted: Well, God thinks you hate him, and that's just as bad as hating him. So how 'bout you and Groovy go start looking for some clues!
Sonny: Clues to what? What is your trip?
Ted: Clues to why I don't chain you to the back of my van and road-haul you 'til you're nothing but a pelvis wearing a belt!
Brock: Yeah, he was just this guy...guy in a butterfly suit who got in over his head. And I could see it in his eyes that if I let him get away this one time he'd never come back...but then, I also thought...y'know...kill'im. What kind of way is that to -
Shaman: Quanto! (Begins to Mumble)
Shaman's Interpreter: Wuh - One time, I am in the Amazon, on my canoe, and I see, swim, the Dolphin, the, uh, the beautiful dolphin, and I slip out of my canoe, and I grab her, this...fish...and, uh, then I fucked it...the fish!
Brock: The Hell's that got to with anything?
Shaman: Kayho Hadaile!
Shaman's Interpreter: Hot Dolphin!
Brock: You're an idiot!
Dolphin: You see, Brock Samson, we're all one. We all share the same need for shelter, warmth, fulfillment. The secret of happiness lies not in conquest, but in empathy. Em...Pa...Th-
Brock: Wooooaaah. Better dolphin!
Hunter Gathers: Samson!!
Hunter: What is all this namby-pamby feel bad about good wet work bullshit?! You're beyond good and evil, Superman! You work for the government.
Brock: What about uhhh, humanity and empathy and all that garbage?
Hunter: Who cares? You're going to special ops heaven.
Hunter: Really! And it's god damned great! The G-Man Valhalla! There's trim and guns everywhere. And we eat steak flavored clouds and poop secrets!
Brock: But you're not even dead. You're a woman!
Hunter: And you're a tool, boy, a tool! Built for a single purpose by the United States of shut your third god damned eye for a good fucking reason! You can't teach a hammer to love nails, son. That dog don't hunt!
Brock: DON'T! HUNT!