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Selected Quotes for The Venture Bros. Episode,

¡Viva los Muertos!

Hank: Hey, who's that in the old manufacturing wing?

Dean: I'll get the flashlights!

Hank: I'll get the astronaut ice cream!


Venturestein: Prostitoooos!

Brock: You got it V-stein, that's the game plan.

Venturestein: Shoe!

Brock: No, man, no. They're not going to give it up for a shoe you made out of a dog.

[Venturestein sighs and looks down, dejected]

Brock: Hey forget it V, it's my treat.

Venturestein: Brock Gooooood!


Hank: Where the heck did they put African-America, anyway?

Dean: I don’t know, Hank, but it’s not on any of our charts. I know – to the learning beds!


Dr. Venture: Brock, I need dead people. Lots and lots of dead people.

Brock: Uh-huh.

Dr. Venture: I already got 12 from the henchmen you killed, not counting the black guy with half a head, but we need like, uh, 100 something. We need like a full gross of dead people.

Brock: Right, and, uh...where are we gonna get all these dead people?

Dr. Venture: Well, I thought, seeing how you are...you know, you and all, maybe...you could go out and--

Brock: No.

Dr. Venture: --make some...

Brock: No.

Dr. Venture: ...dead people.

Brock: No.

Dr. Venture: Well, fine. Thanks a lot for not helping.

Brock: Anything else?

Dr. Venture: HELP ME GET DEAD PEOPLE!


Patty: Ted, you said I could see my parents.

Ted: This was on the way, Patty.

Patty: We've been driving to my parents' house for ten years. You promised.

Ted: Patty...being out of your box isn't a right, it's a privilege! Baby, you don't want to go back in your box, do you?

Patty: No!


Ted: If God didn't want us to solve this mystery, he wouldn't have had us run out of gas here!

Patty: But what's the mystery?

Sonny: Hey, you know, we're not outta gas, man! We got a five-gallon can in the back of the -

(Ted smacks Sonny with flashlight)

Ted: Why do you hate God so much?

Sonny: I don't hate God, man...

Ted: Well, God thinks you hate him, and that's just as bad as hating him. So how 'bout you and Groovy go start looking for some clues!

Sonny: Clues to what? What is your trip?

Ted: Clues to why I don't chain you to the back of my van and road-haul you 'til you're nothing but a pelvis wearing a belt!


Brock: Yeah, he was just this guy...guy in a butterfly suit who got in over his head. And I could see it in his eyes that if I let him get away this one time he'd never come back...but then, I also thought...y'know...kill'im. What kind of way is that to -

Shaman: Quanto! (Begins to Mumble)

Shaman's Interpreter: Wuh - One time, I am in the Amazon, on my canoe, and I see, swim, the Dolphin, the, uh, the beautiful dolphin, and I slip out of my canoe, and I grab her, this...fish...and, uh, then I fucked it...the fish!

Brock: The Hell's that got to with anything?

Shaman: Kayho Hadaile!

Shaman's Interpreter: Hot Dolphin!

Brock: You're an idiot!


Dolphin: You see, Brock Samson, we're all one. We all share the same need for shelter, warmth, fulfillment. The secret of happiness lies not in conquest, but in empathy. Em...Pa...Th-

Brock: Wooooaaah. Better dolphin!

Hunter Gathers: Samson!!

Brock: Hunter?!

Hunter: What is all this namby-pamby feel bad about good wet work bullshit?! You're beyond good and evil, Superman! You work for the government.

Brock: What about uhhh, humanity and empathy and all that garbage?

Hunter: Who cares? You're going to special ops heaven.

Brock: Really?

Hunter: Really! And it's god damned great! The G-Man Valhalla! There's trim and guns everywhere. And we eat steak flavored clouds and poop secrets!

Brock: But you're not even dead. You're a woman!

Hunter: And you're a tool, boy, a tool! Built for a single purpose by the United States of shut your third god damned eye for a good fucking reason! You can't teach a hammer to love nails, son. That dog don't hunt!

Brock: DON'T! HUNT!